You are enough. What is that even? Those 3 words radiate peacefulness and a sense of achievement, and yet when do I time to to think about myself, when does anyone ever have time? I have been racking my brain this week about how to hold onto the proverbial raised glass of water.
The question of how heavy is a glass of water becomes a relative one. Instead we should be asking ourselves, how long have you been holding onto your glass of water? And how numb does your arm have to be before you let go?
Since becoming a mum, I have been desperately trying to hold on to my glass of water and I have done a fantastic job burying myself in more work and cluttering my head with thoughts of failure and not being good enough.
Even Supermum needs a day off from time to time, because raising a little one, working, and going about your day – is hard work. Sometimes, I have to check myself before I leave the house that I am not wearing odd shoes. ( It has happened, my friends!)
My inner critic was on point as always, and the longer I listened to her, the heavier my water glass was getting. And yes, who likes to admit that life is just a bit hard at the moment? Dr Sigmund Freud said if you talk about it, it gets easier and the more I spoke to other mums and dads, the more I realised we are all in the same boat, just trying to get by. One sleepless night at a time.
So, rather than giving myself a splitting headache, I decided to silence my inner critic, because, yes, right now, I am enough and everything I do is enough, because my baby is happy and healthy. There is nothing else I need to be right now.
Holding on to my inner critic does not make me stronger, or a better person, instead my inner critic holds me back, like an anchor and stops me from seeing things clearly and using my common sense to make decisions, because i am crippled with worry.
Sometimes, the best decisions that have lead to the happiest outcomes are those that I made from my gut feeling, not listening to anyone but what my instinct was telling me. No one, especially us parents, is perfect. Its our imperfections that make us loveable. Sometimes, all we need is a little time and a little balance and I am totally ok with that. Now take a bite of that, inner critic!
This post is in inspiration to a conversation I had with Mike my agony aunt and voice of reason who I have been seeing for a couple of weeks to help me with my post natal anxiety.